今日兩點半返學校,因為約左Jackson傾FYP,唉,真係俾佢激死呀?!唔好講佢喇?!因為我自已心情都唔係咁好.........
放學個時同個FD SMS,傾左好耐,亦都傾左好多野,因為我真係唔知點做好呀?!之後我個FD問左我以下兩個問題,“我係唔係肯定自己鍾意佢?係咪肯定自已唔係想拍拖但搵唔到鍾意既人而去繼續鍾意佢?”我見到呢兩個問題,我都唔係好知自己點諗~~講真果句,我真係唔肯定我自已係咪真係鍾意佢,講真都咁多年,我只係知我之前有咩事唔開心,有事,第一時間就會諗起佢,想佢可以幫到我,support到我,但係我知係冇可能的~~第二個問題,我認我係想拍拖,但係我亦都認我仲未搵到個係我鍾意既人?!我真係好亂呀,真係唔知自已對佢既感覺係咩感覺呀?!我知如果話係鍾意既話,個個都會話我唔應該再鍾意一個不會鍾意自己既人,但係我唔知點樣先可以放得低佢呀?!
我真係有試過唔去諗佢的呀,以為自已真係做得到的呀~~但係當佢一搵我既時候,我就會心軟嫁喇,我都唔知點解對住佢既時候就會係咁,就算係佢做錯,我都會嬲唔落的呀~~我知我唔應該再為佢而hurt到自己,但係我真係唔知可以點做,放棄我有諗過,但係我始終做唔出呀?!
我都唔知點解平時既我可以好理智,但係當我一對住佢既時候就........我知你地會覺得我好傻,尤其同我熟果d,更加會知道我點諗,同埋亦都有話過我,“鍾意一個唔會鍾意既人,真係值得咩??佢唔值得你咁做的呀!!”就算我明,但係我做唔到呀~~
好辛苦,真係好辛苦呀?!唔知點解咁多年,我都解唔個心結,我真係另願由始至終,我都冇識過佢,冇任何野發生過~~
我希望我今次真係可以醒覺到啦?!因為我來緊都仲有好多野要忙,我唔可以再俾佢既野affect到我的呀~~過埋星期一,過埋呢日我就唔可以再為佢既而唔開心~~但係我都會祝福佢地既,話晒大家都叫做朋友一埸丫ma(就算佢冇當我係佢朋友都好啦) |