The morning of October 6, 2009

The sun finally shines over the gloomy clouds and sunlight falls on my skin at 7 am

after four days of freezing cold weather, i value the time with the sun while the wind softly blows through my hair

i walked toward the sun's direction to go to the place where i usually sit to do my homework before school starts

as i walk down the path, i saw a lucid circular object high in the sky

i lifted my head and stared at the almost circle

it was the moon, a moon after mid-autumn festival

when the time i realized that it was the moon, i suddenly found out that i was so busy this year

it has only been six weeks of school and i am already super tired and lost interest in other things

before, i enjoy weekends because i don't have to do anything except for watching drama

now, i don't mean that i don't like weekends because they are the only time that i don't have to run drastically

however, they were also the busiest time of my week because i had no choice but to do homework, go tutoring, and draw

unfortunately, this year's mid-autumn festival is on Saturday

on that day, i was exhausted after 8 hours of tutoring and craved for sleep

therefore, after the yummy dinner, i could do nothing but to force myself to stay focus on my homework

as a result, i lost the moon

i have experienced three mid-autumn festivals in America and they were all dull and trivial compared to the one in Hong Kong

however, i still had time to stare at the moon and appreciated its roundness for the last two years

this year, i totally forgot about the moon or i should say i didn't have time to care

the not so round moon symbolizes the progression of time

now, i want to see the round moon but it's already gone

time has passed and as a human, i can claim nothing back

I am becoming more and more confident in my future

this week is another tiresome and tedious week which wore me out

i am so sleepy right now even though it's just 10:30pm

by the way, HAPPY MID-AUTUMN FESTIVAL

I envied u guys so much because i heard from cherry that u guys were having so much fun at night

when i just woke up from a 6 hours of sleep and preparing to see u guys as a celebration for the festival

it turned out to be like u guys weren't showing up and it disappointed me a bit

however, i had too much work to do and i just couldn't hold that feeling for a second longer

7:4xam..... it was the time when i went to ACI and spent my day in learning and taking notes and u guys were playing crazily

that's so not fair... however, it is life, isn't it?

life is never fair

yesterday, i was so tired so that i couldn't concentrate while taking the SAT

i thought that i did really bad in it and i would degrade in this time's test

however, it turned out to be i did a lot better than last week

i had a dramatic improvement in grammar and writing

the teacher who graded my essay was harsh but he gave me a 5/6

i am so happy because i finally made some improvements

i was so happy when i saw my scores!!

i am not hopeless....... hard-work, lack of sleep, tiredness, and suffering don't matter to me anymore when  i saw the good result

i have to keep working hard and beat myself by getting a 2200 in SAT!!!!

Once in a while

there must be a bad day and the worst day of ur month, of ur life

unwilling to admit that, today is the worst worst day of my year

before, i thought that today is a good day because today is a late start day

i slept at 11:15 yesterday after working on history for 3 hours and memorizing a few new vocabs

then, i was all enenrgized when i woke up at 7:30 the other day

i took my time to eat my breakfast and i walked outside to wait for my friend to pick me up to school

school starts at 8:55 and we were to meet each other at 8:35

i waited for 10 minutes and she didn't come yet

i then was nervous and called her phone

OMG!!! she's not picking up her phone and i was standing there and didn't know what to do

then, i called my other friend who was at school already to see if the friend givng me the ride was at school yet

she called for me and checked for me but she wasn't at school yet

8:50, my other friend texted me and told me that the friend forgot to give me a ride

i was already standing there and tears had be dripping off from my eyes a few minutes ago

i was scared because i don't want to be late and i didn't know who to call to drive me to school

then, that friend who forgot to give me a ride then called her mum and told her to come pick me up

i was late to school for the first time

then,  iin english class, i messed up on my vocab quiz when the word bank was provided on the board and i spelt the word wrong

this mistake is intolerate

in chemistry class, we worked on a 100 points project and we messed up so badly on it

even though ours was the prettiest, it became the worst because we messed up so badly

during cross country, we were to practice running up and down the hills today

i was in depression and i didn't even know what i was doing

then, i ran downhill and i fell on the ground

actually, the grass was too slippery and i slid on my left knee

it bled and i kept runnning

today is the worst day of my life

i hope that tomorrow willl be better

who knows

i am failing my life,.... epic fail

Ridiculous

it's so funny that i always say that i don't like history at all

however, it turns out to be like i spend the most time of it everyday

i really think that it's so crazy to spend 2 hours a day on weekday and 5 hours on sunday only on history is so crazy

how can it be possible?

however, sunday is one of my favorite days because i can go to drawing class

i find all my pride and confidence in there

in school, i always have to compete against one another to gain a good grade

everytime, it's either i got the highest score or someone else does

in the drawing class, it's so peaceful

i am like the second oldest student over there

today, i have heard a very good news

there was a parent coming into the class and asked the teacher about her daughter

her daughter didn't want to do hw the teacher assigned to her and she didn't do her owrk in class either

the mother was asking what can she do nad why is she like that

then, the teacher explained to her that it's all about motivation

at that time, i was the last student in the class because everyone else left already

the teacher was looking for an answer for the question and he suddenly turned to me

he ppulled that mum to me and told her to look at my work

he showed her that i am his only student out of like 60 who would put effort into the hw everytime

i am satisfited with what i drew (i didn't think that i could draw that)

then, the parent was like 'wow!! it;s so pretty but it's because she has a stong basis"

it was ridiculous!!!

i having a strong basis????

did u know that i never got an A in art until secondary school

i have never gotten an A in kindergarden or elementary school in art

how would i have a strong basis

however,  i am so glad that i improved a lot and everyone praised my artwork

i am satisfied by that... with the art and drawing, i can be strong enough to overcome all the difficulities and toughness

i have confidence to move up to another level in any fields

everything can be done once u are determined

that's what everyone around the world is saying

if u are impeded by obstacles, u will always use this to persuade urself to keep moving

if one is successful right now, he will look back and profoundly say that determination does help

in this case, everything seems so possible

it beguiles people to assume that the future is bright and hopeful

however, how come no one ever addresses the negative side of it?

truly, i don't oppose or reject the truth that determination will help one to get through difficulites

on the other hand, i absolutely agree with this concept becauase i have once experienced it

however, no one ever includes a little caption under the quote saying "please don't underestimate the suffering and depression"

if u want success, u hvae to pay the same amount or even greater to reach ur goal, ur desire

i long for success, long for my dream

however, i really don't feel like spending every minute and second working on homework

it seems so crazy to me that the following two years will be nothing but hard-wrok

it seems to me that everything i am doing right now is for college, for the transcript and nothing else

how come the world is so materialistic?

how come everything is about cost, pay, and money?

as technology advances, i used to think that our lives will become better

on the opposite side, as technology encroaches the golden age, people and the future generation has to work even harder than their ancestors

how come it's like this

how come adolescent period doesn't seem that attractive anymore?