After knowing the news that I, as well as other fellow colleagues, will be put on redundancy, really have no mood to do anything.  Not because of losing a job, but as my colleagues said, we are lost of orientation.  We don't know what is the purpose to continue to work.  After all, we have to leave the company, why work?

So these days we have lots of meals - long lunch, 3:30pm tea break.  Work according to our employment contract - 9am to 5:30pm and leave office sharp on time.  Maybe other countries know that we will vanish very soon, we do not have many e-mails.  What we need to do is chatting, chatting and chatting.  Nothing else.

It's good though - the bonding betwee the leaving staff is growing stronger.

The font color is black - so is the color of my mood.

Zidane, the final match playing for the national team of France, ended in receiving a red card for "attacking" a player from the opposing team and being expelled from the field.

I kept wondering this morning:  was there something wrong with his secretion of testosterone?  Over the weekend I have been watching a documentary from BBC about the differences of sexes and one of the episodes talk about testosterone.  Yes, this hormone can stimulate the individual (regardless man or woman) to "fight", but once the testosterone level is too high, the individual will keep making mistakes.  Was Zidane having such a problem?

The World Cup finally came to an end and the teams that had played good games have got their prize they deserve.  The gold cup is still there, if any country is interested in it, try hard next time and the world will see them again in 2010 in South Africa~

OK~  I'm superstitious so I go for Tarot reading for advices during the time when I'm confused like now:

how you feel about yourself now (Judgement)

You feel this is an end to an era or at least a certain phase of your life - you are taking stock and looking where you want to go from here. This ending is not one for regret but for rejoicing. Soon you will enjoy the rewards for your past efforts. As with any period of endings, many opportunities will present themselves and the choice that you make will have far reaching implications that could change your life dramatically. Any legal issues should be ruled in your favour.

what you most want at this moment (The World)

The cards suggest Kawai, that what you most want at this time is a successful conclusion after all your hard work - well that time is close. This is a time for completion and satisfaction, the final change is here and you’ve done your best to win through.

your fears (The Moon)

Lies and insecurity are likely to be prominent in your life at the moment, you are afraid of being deceived and feel that you are being misled. Trust your instincts and let them guide you away from those who may seem charming but are only out for their own gains. Your turbulent emotions are muddying the waters - step back and try to find clarity of mind, although this may seem difficult. The Moon does help to illuminate the way and don’t worry, it will turn out alright in the end.

what is going for you (Temperance)

You are about to enter a period of peace and harmony in your relationship, career or life generally. You will find a way of handling difficult circumstances with calm confidence. Life is flowing at this time enjoy it.

what is going against you (The Devil)

It's like you’re in a drug-induced haze - it feels great and always leaves you wanting more. This is addiction pure and simple, whether it's an obsessive sexual relationship, money deals that are too good to be true, materialism at any cost or recreational drugs. Take care - it won’t lead to a happy ending.

outcome (The Empress)

This is a truly creative and fertile time. Expect the best if you are considering having a child, creating a new job or business opportunity or starting a creative project. The Empress symbolizes abundance, joy and happiness, and reassurance - a firm foundation for future progress.

Ever since the beginning of this year, everything seems happending against me:  work, family, even the god damn friends.  I wonder what I have done wrong lately.

Well, first of all, family.  I can swear to god that I devoted myself wholly to the family but I don't know why I deserve this.  My parents are simply changed to another people that I don't know them.  If I have any useful value to them, they speak nice word to me.  Otherwise, all words have "bones".

Work ... it's life that I don't (and can't) blame anybody.  Just next time, don't whole-heartedly work for your job or your heart will be broken, just like being dumped by your sweetheart.

Friends ... this is a good test.  People always say when there is big things coming to you, you'll see who is your friend.  Seems the beginning of the year, the real faces of people came out.  You see I really mind it.  They help me define certain words and set standard on certain things, and now, I feel good that not too many pig-dog friends are around me.  Those around are pretty good ones.  This is the lucky part.

As I said, tomorrow?  I don't want to think about ...

It is bad not because I can confirm that the office is closing, but the truth that I no longer can work with my dear teammates. 

Although my boss is sometimes harsh and demanding, but after all he is a kind big boy.  Although the little girl is slow, but her work quality is extremely high and after all, she is a real sweetie. 

All in a sudden, you can no longer see the people that you have seen every day for 7 whole long years.  You'll feel the lost.  Just like dropping you in the middle of nowhere.

But I really need to thank God (well, actually it should be Beth) for bringing me here and have such a good experience with this group of good people.

Tomorrow?  I don't want to think about it.  It's another matter~

It was a really heart breaking moment when I knew that Germany was defeated by Italy.

But still, I would not blame anybody who didn't play a good game because I know all the players have devoted to the game, for the glory of the country.  And I heard that it was a GREAT game and I was pleased that a slow team as Italy could do a good job.  It should be appreciated.

What I want to say is that although there is bullshit like "friendship should go before the championship" but I think the esprit de corp is the most important thing being reflected in the games.

See~  The Americans are interested in Klinsmann and many good players will be hunted by world renowned football teams.  After all, other than the friendship, the World Cup has a lot of business behind ...

I spent the hours waiting in the hospital for medical consultion to my father in reading the book "The Gun Seller" by Hugh Laurie, and found another funny definition:

Quote

Love is a word.  A sound.  Its association with a particularfeeling is arbitrary, unmeasurable, and ultimately meaningless.

Unquote

Funny, huh?!  I especially love the last part "ULTIMATELY MEANINGLESS" ... It says my heart~

Do you dream?  Can you remember your dreams?  Can you see colors in your dream?  Can you feel your dream?

I do have dreams - a lot - almost every night.  I forgot half of my dreams, but I can remember half of them.  I can see the color in my dreams, and I even have senses in my dream.

{The following contents are of adult nature that parental guidance is suggested}

Last night, I was kissing in my dream.  I remembered this "spring dream" because I remembered the wetness and sweetness of the kiss, and most important, the interactions of the 2 tongues.  Worst of all, I woke up before there was any "further development", and damn it~  I forgot with whom I was kissing.

I found it really funny ...

Quote P.193

"... And terror is a great-looking career for a modern kid.  Really.  Good prospects, lot of travel, expense account, early retirement.  If I had a son, I'd say to him either law or terrorism.  And let's face it, maybe terrorists do less harm."

See.  This is all what we look in for career - good prospects, lot of travel, expense account, early retirement.  Doesn't it sound appealing to you??? 

Hee hee ... Both England and Brazil were out and now, the 4 teams in the semi final are Germany, Italy, Portugal & France.  On Tuesday night, it'll be the game between Germany & Italy and on Wednesday night it will be Portugal & France.  Would it be a final game between Germany & Portugal?  Ha ha ...

世事如棋局局新 ...