seriously, what kind of halloween is this?

i think that it's the worst holiday ever

i am not even in the festival mood because it doesn't feel like holiday to me at all

friday, eve of Halloween and it was the most stressful day i ever had

i took test for the whole day nad i felt completely exhausted afterward

i couldn't even stay awake after 8 and couldn't spend anytime to work on homework or test because i was just too tired to stay focused

i am going to go trick or treat in 3 hours and the excitement is gone

i am always like that

i am excited for the upcoming event a week or a month before it and when the time comes, i just lost all my excitement

what the heck is that?

it doesn't even make sense

people said that i worried too much and i am an overachiever

am i putting too much stress on myself?

a sophmore should enjoy her life and be ready for junior, the most stressful year

i don't know if i should work like this everyday

i think that one day i will jsut give up on everything

the weather is turning so cold

everyday in the morning right now, i have to dress in thick sweater to protect myself from the harsh wind

finally, winter is approaching and i am looking forward to it

i have learned that no matter how hard the next day seems like, it will always turn  out to be okay

i have been worrying about this week a lot because every teacher and everyone is telling me that this week is going to be extremely tough and very challenging

what happens right now?

i have half way done with the week and i am still alive

oh, i mean half-alive,, lol

but then i still live through the day with some pleasant things flowing around

no matter how hard my day is, i always have my best friends circulating around me to cheer me on

one is to tease me and laugh with me, the other is to share feeling and secrets with me

i am so happy that this week is going on pretty smoothly

i have done a great job in chinese speech that i think would turn out worse if i didn't volunteer to go first

i have been running very hard for many days already and i am glad that my coach has encouraged and lectured me

i am getting used to the sophmore life

i am getting used to sleeping at 11:30 every night

i am getting used to the busy life

i am getting used to yearn in class (hehe)

four days left...

four days until halloween

four days until playtime

will i actually live through these four days

how about the four days after this set of four days??

even my callous history teacher thinks that this week is extremely tough for us only for the history class

how about all the other things that are going on??

my chem teacher refers the wednesday test as the hardest chem test we have ever taken

my math teahcer said that this week's math test is going to be "fun" (equals hard)

and ACI essay that my teacher said we have to work hard and put in effort in order to pass it

and the chinese speech on wednesday and i think i am just going to BS it

omg!! and the race on wednesday

hey.... how am i going to live through all these things

save me...

somehow, i realized that my daily routine is to complain and panick

everyday after i wake up, i think about what should i do today and how much work i have

then, i start to worry and be nervous on whether i could finish all my work

until now, i realized that i complain too much

i remember that during the summer vacation, i told myself not to complain anymore for my life because a lot of people are having a tougher one

however, it's a completely different story right now because i start to complain a lot to my friends

that's not right and it should not be like that

i am procastinating too much everyday and that's why i am not finishing my work on time

sometimes, i set a too crazy schedule for myself and i would then slack off to watch drama because the homework is too tough or too annoying

i started to give excuses to let myself to go easy on the work

however, that's not right

i have suffered only 1/6 of the school year nad i started to not want to work

that's impossible nad i have to work harder

i have to get 5s on the AP tests and i have to do well in SAT

however, everyone can see my tiredness on my face by now

even the drawing class teacher can tell my difference today from normal days

i think that i am exhausted

i think that my life is way too tough 

it's only nine forty four right now and i am extremely sleepy already

it has been six weeks since i had slept average of 7 hours a day and i thought i got used to it already

however, it turns out to be like i am still getting used to the feeling of lack of sleep

 in addition to the lack of sleep, i have to get used to the feeling of pain from exercising

omg!! i am so sleepy right now and i just feel like procastinating

i still have ACI work to do and a lot of homework to do but i just want to go to sleep

today is a minumum day but i felt like today is longer than usual, dn't know why

i am completely exhausted after ACI today

how come??

i was okay tired today. not that bad

but then the three hours nad a half test killed me again

when will i get used to the sleepy feeling

when will i stop procastinating?